Nessa (blacksoul89) wrote in thecondom_broke,

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Title: All the Small Things
Authors: Me (blacksoul89) and Heather (no account)
Pairing: Matt/Jere (Mest)
Rating: R
Summary: After years of trying, Matt and Jere's wishes finally come true, but no one ever said it would be easy...
Warnings: Slash, mpreg, graphic descriptions, gore
Disclaimer: Roses are red, violets are blue, we no own, so you no sue. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, this story can't happen, get that through your head.

Matt sighed, feeling sick to his stomach for what felt like the millionth time. He slowly rolled over, so as not to upset his already churning stomach, and gazed longingly at Jeremiah's empty side of the bed, wishing he'd asked him to stay home when he'd announced he was going to Tony's. But, then again, Tony was five months pregnant and Benji was out of town, meaning Tony needed help with a lot of things.

Matt yawned, just wanting to close his eyes and sleep, as he'd been doing for the past two weeks it seemed. He'd barely been able to keep his eyes open, and when he wasn't curled in a ball sound asleep somewhere, he was either wanting to throw up or wanting to fall asleep again. And, with a jolt, he realized these were all classic symptoms of pregnancy, and suddenly realized he'd missed his period by two weeks.

“No I can’t be can I?” Instantly sitting up and placing his hands on his abdomen, staring at it closely before getting out of bed and heading into the bathroom, closing the door behind him though he was the only one home. It was just a thing of privacy he had and has had it as far back as he could remember.

“Come on, I know it’s in here somewhere” He fumed, getting aggravated digging through the pounds of junk in the bathroom drawers and not finding what he wanted. “There it is.” He said proudly, pulling out a little box containing a pregnancy test Jere had bought for him on a false alarm a couple of months ago. He hadn’t used it; he didn’t want to use it. If it was false it would just kill him and he’d already been hurt enough in the previous years.

He followed the instructions carefully and set the test on the counter, sitting himself on the floor as he waited for the results. He began to cry as he cradled his flat stomach, rocking lightly with each sob that wracked his frame. He didn’t know whether he was crying thinking it would be positive and he and Jere would have the family they had been trying for or crying remembering the last time it had been positive.

Matt's walls seemed to be come crashing down around him as he sat on the bathroom floor, his stomach feeling as though it were being ripped in half by terrible cramps. He could feel a warm wetness seeping down his thighs, and no matter how much he wished it was, he knew he hadn't had an accident.

Just that morning, he and Jere had been discussing names for their baby boy, whom Matt had been carrying for the last 18 weeks. And now, as he sat on the floor with blood gushing forth and pain wracking his whole body, he knew it was all over. There wasn't going to be a baby anymore, it was just going to be himself and Jere.

As Matt heard the door close downstairs, he mustered all his remaining energy and breath and screamed as loudly as he could for Jere, his husband running up the stairs and freezing in the doorway. He gasped as he saw Matt pressed into the corner of the bathroom, blood coating his thighs and the floor. Matt screamed in pain again, Jere quickly grabbing the phone and calling 911.

"Baby, it's ok," Jere said softly in an attempt to soothe him. "The ambulance will be here soon."

"It's not ok," Matt bawled, crying out softly in pain. "Hayden's dead. There's no more baby, Miah."

"I know, sweetie. There's always next time, even though it's going to be really hard this time. You'd finally gotten him moved and everything was going really well. I don't know what happened, baby, but we're going to find out."

"It hurts," Matt cried, gripping Jere's hand tightly.

"I know, I know, it's almost over. Just hang on a few more minutes," Jere soothed, two tears slipping from his eyes as their tiny, lifeless son slipped from Matt's body.

Matt sat up with a start, not even realizing he had fallen asleep; the exhaustion had really been taking its toll on his narrow frame. He glanced at his wristwatch and realized almost fifteen minutes had passed and that he was still on the cold hard tile of the bathroom floor.

“Matt, baby, you home?” He heard his husband call, the soft thuds of his foot steps coming closer and closer to the closed bathroom door.

He stood up quickly and stuffed the tester in the pocket of his overly large hoodie, not even bothering to look at it while Jere was around. Jere had taken the miscarriage hard and he couldn’t let him know about this one if it was positive until he was sure he was.

“Matty?” Jere called again, opening the bathroom door to find a startled looking Matt.

“Hey Miah,” he smiled weakly, wiping his eyes on his sleeve.

“Were you crying?” He asked, instantly pulling his husband into his tight embrace, letting the younger man’s head rest on his shoulder.

“It was just a nightmare, I’ll be ok,” Matt sighed, snuggling deeper into the older one’s warm embrace, closing his eyes feeling a little better.

“Come on, let’s get you back into bed, you need to rest.”

Matt nodded slowly, not wanting to move so he allowed himself to be carried back to the bed. “Stay with me?” he asked, snuggling deeper into the warm blankets that had been placed over him.

Jere smiled softly and pulled back the blankets on his side of the bed, climbing in and pulling Matt close to his body as the younger man lightly dozed. “Tony says ‘hi’ by the way.”

“Really? How is he?” Matt yawned, burying his face into the crook of his husbands’ neck as he encircled his arms around his waist.

“Tired and cranky and his back has been killing him. Oh, and he misses Benji more than anything but other than that I’d say he’s fine.”

“You call that fine?” Matt asked looking into Jere’s deep hazel eyes causing them both to chuckle. “I really should go see him sometime I mean I’m his cousin and it’s been a few weeks since I’ve been over there,” he said, looking down away from Jere’s eyes ashamed.

“You’ve been sick so don’t blame yourself, I’m sure he understands,” Jere said, leaning over and placing a soft kiss onto Matt’s forehead.

“I love you Miah.”

“I love you to Matty,” he whispered but his words went unheard for the younger man had fallen deep into much needed sleep. However, unknown to Jere, inside of Matt’s hoodie pocket was the pregnancy tester with it’s read out waiting to be read.

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